The simple art of saying no & letting go.

It’s not easy, is it? Letting go of things, even if they aren’t good for us. There is a strange comfort in what we have become used to – whether that be clutter or emotional stresses – despite their toxicity.

I know that a house with less ‘stuff’ is what I ultimately want, but yet I still struggle with letting go of certain items(especially those with sentimental value). Equally so, I know I want a life where I prioritize the most positive and uplifting relationships, but I have struggled with setting boundaries and learning how to say ‘no’ in order to have the freedom to say ‘yes’ where and when it counts.

Healthy boundaries are not walls. They are gates and fences that allow you to enjoy the beauty of your own garden.  – Lydia Hall

I began by setting boundaries for the relationships in my life – by reminding myself of what I will not tolerate, and for which boundaries would allow me to be a more loving version of myself.

 

Some of the boundaries I decided on, include:

  • Reciprocity (a good balance of giving and receiving support)
  • Trust in each other – both in truthfulness and care for each other
  • Equal effort and desire to resolve conflicts, when they arise
  • Respect for one another (including each others boundaries)

 

I started to look at the people in my life, beginning with those who I spent the most time with. If I found that many of my boundaries were crossed frequently, I had hard conversations – and waited for them to either step up or step out. I would love to tell you that everyone stepped up – but it certainly wasn’t the case.

Relationships ended; grief was a very real consequence, but equally so was hope.

I am dedicated to creating the life I want, where I am able to make space for healthier relationships – investing more time in the people who wholeheartedly embraced (even congratulated) my more boundaried life. I have found that already I feel lighter with more energy to give, and am surrounded by people who genuinely value me.

Creating space in your life and home can be heavy and takes some serious muscle. Yet, in the end, I think you will find, it is still incredibly worthwhile.

Have you created and implemented boundaries in your relationships? What boundaries are important for you? If you could only invest in 5 people, who would you choose? I’m curious to hear your ideas and experiences below!


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15 thoughts on “The simple art of saying no & letting go.

  1. Laura, a well written article. I really appreciated what you said about relationship. How we need to say no enough to be able to say yes. This is still a skill I am learning. I want to say yes to people but I have learned that some relationships are unbalanced and thus they are not deserving of my time. Your story is encouraging for me. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that’s the part I still need to work on – making sure that I’m consistent in maintaining my boundaries. It’s very difficult at the start…but rewarding in the end, I think. I hope you are able to continue working on them, Katelon!

      Liked by 1 person

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